She told me she loved me last night. I immediately got high after she left; almost like a cause and effect. Love scares the shit out of me. I can't tell this woman my secrets; what will she think of me? Do you have any idea how hugely this is frowned upon? How badly I would be ostracized if this actually became a well known fact. you can't die from it and its almost been a year but I still have no idea how I contracted hsv 2.
I shake my head in disbelief everytime I take my pill in the morning. I cray my hearts eyes out every night. But this is not a reality for me in this world. Or at least not a reality this world around me realizes. And I dont think that will ever change.
Im at work right now and I can't talk long but I just had to get this off my chest; I could marry this woman, potentially, and never tell her until its time to have kids. I could just act like I didn't know myself because dealing with that as a new issue would be way easier to digest then to say Ive had this and kept it from you.
The sad part is I dont even know if I love her back. My life is a nightmare right now and this is just the tip of the iceberg old friend.....
