Hey God,
First and foremost I'd want to say praise be to you for all that I have. I couldn't be here with out and I think about everything you've blessed me with everyday. Thank you, and glory be to you for everything down to my 2 legs to get me everywhere, my brain which gets me the the things I need, and for this Lil bit of money you've blessed me with. Praise be to you.
I'm starving. I haven't eaten a thing since last night at 10 pm. I had shitty costco orange chicken and white rice and somehow ruined it with soy sauce.
At any rate, I'm fasting. As a man of God amongst mountains of turmoil I need to do something like fast in order to really tune in to what God's plan is for my life and really align with it. Now that I have awoken I need to stay on the right path otherwise my efforts will be as fruitless as a lifetime of being a mailman. I won't amount to shit. In ANY feild. If you're out there listening which I know you are please tell me if you want me to stay. I need to know what you want me to do. And in doing so I promise to clean up my act. I promise. Not only am I running out of time but at the crucial crossroads of being cursed forever or walking in your graces for the remainder of whatever it is you want me to live. Either way I'll listen and I'm ready for consequences. I fully commit to being your son and worshipping and praising your name as long as I live I just need to know what city you want me to do it in. I'm sorry I didn't ask you sooner before I told half the planet.....
I'm not trying to defy you, I just want to reach my true potential. I see these people out here....and I know they love me for me.....I love them all and I pray and ask for your guidance in their lives but I want to pour into someone or something. I don't feel like I've ever immersed myself in anything since I pledged and you help me complete that. Thank you for that, it was an overall good place to be in and learn from. I feel like I could tell more people about you in the acting feild. I feel like I could influence people to be good natured and mild mannered. I see that people are sometimes focused on the wrong things in life and I just want to make everyone happy. I know I can't do that.....but would you let me at least try God?
I trust you. I'm exhausted right now. But I trust you. With all my heart and soul. I don't care about the money, it will only bring me temporary happiness. I know that. Truth us I don't even want a lot of money. I'm just happy telling stories and teaching people things. I want to make my story stronger but for now I'll leave the story telling up to you. I will put my faith in you and let you guide me. Just please let me go away from this place. My head needs the struggle right now. I need to be pushed....
She text me saying I'm a beautiful man with a big heart. I just want everyone around me to be beautiful in their own way, and just exist at their fullest potential.
I think about my dad sometimes and how you place where he is in his life. I think you wanted me to learn from his mistakes. I need to leave all these women alone. (These women need to leave me alone) but it's my fault. I made this bed....
I'm sorry I let things get out of hand....but with you I know they'll never be out of control.....
I know I'll succeed either it's just a matter of succeeding with your plan or just being some other successful person without a purpose or aim or special focus
