Im fucking over it.

Ive made up my mind. Im going to pursue acting, full time at some point in my life.

I don't give a fuck what happens. I don't care about the money, I just want to tell stories. FUCK the fame, I just want to be skilled at transforming. Y'all niggas could the popularity and fortune and just let me be and mold and flow from character to character. I want to make you feel like you've been transported into another time, another place, another realm and show you the experience of a lifetime.

I know I can do this. And I just have to show some other people that I can do this too.

I feel like shit everyday under the pressure of meeting some imaginary metrics. I hate being the guy people treat as an invisible man sometimes. I hate being beckoned or summoned or called and then told to do a task then just leave. Shits sucks, its not fuckin fullfilling. The fuckin crazy amount

Im so fuckin crazy htat im only the glance out of the side of your eye....i want to be the focus of your vision, I want to be what people focus on for hours.

I could go on but I chose not to drag this any longer, I just need to prove to the world how gangster I am about workin with




Ya'll niggas mark my words....this shit will come true

vasovagal syncope

I collapsed 3 weeks ago today. No clue why. fuck the shitty emergency rooms 3 hour wait, I bandaged up my knees and my face and went home. The suckiest part about it was that I only .41 miles into my run, and I had to tell everyone I was 4 miles in, going for 5 just so I could retain some dignity. I also didnt wanna feel like a fuckin clown for not even getting anywhere before it happened. Its weird because I saw it coming but this time I couldnt stop it.

Cancun was amazing.  I made mistakes that would make over and over again.......

They promoted a nigga. Not just my but a NIGGA. For a while here there were office rumblings about this place not promoting black people off the helpdesk.....and I only had to beat out 6 other internal candidates for the job.

I pray theres hope for a nigga like me

Man, Joey badA$$ got my mind twisted right now....


I'm high as shit, chillin wit my nigga joe right now, ironically, but

I just had to get a few thing off my chest, because I know the future me will be all set, and things will work out for the better... but I had to just vent right now....

On some real shit, fuck this bitch. Can you believe she has the fucking audacity to mention some other jump off nigga to me right now? Aite cool, Im a side piece, your a side piece, cool whatever. But dont fuckin throw in some bullshit, some-oh-my-otha-side-mans-flyin-me-out-to-ohio shit. Like who gives a fuck???? honestly who gives a flying fuck? and yea I had to put the G on the the end of those....


This was a bitch I exposed MIGUEL to....like i had this bitch finger poppin herself off that niggas songs thinkin about me for a full year yo. and I know cuz she told me, and I felt like that was value to her....from day 1....man fuck this shit I cant even type fast enough for the amount I want to vent...I just said a whole bunch of shit in front of joe that I should have kept to my self, or in my mind....so you get the jist.

Yo I cant even dwell or spend any more emotional energy on that shit...I really am getting too old for this shit and I need to just chill the fuck out and find one female that makes me feel like I can chill with her forever

I got one like that now, Nat, and shes def special but also 400 miles away at any given moment. This makes it hard for me to feel like im tied to her and thus hard to feel like theres any kind of constant relationship

Watch, we'll see, Im gonna prove to that bitch I have status...and then she'll see how im worth more then her little middle aged crisis white off balance guys treat her then....she wont be able to keep her fuckin eyes off me, and if she reaches out I'm gonna have my security cards beat her up in public and watch. and laugh.  SHe doenst know what its like to be and now she see that you cant hurt my feelings ever. I will be better then then coudve ever hope. 

but anyways fuck that noise...i made it past being mad at the white people at work for being white and privledged...and now its almost 3 years Ive been working at this shitty uppity place. People put this instiuion on such a high level and cant for the life of me figure

9/10/2015 update

She flew out to see beanie wells and his shitty little mediocre company. ..and the shit didn't even work out and she still text a nigga like she misses me. I have a real place in her heart and she could've just been a body...that I got wayyy too attached to