Nothing hurts a real pimp like losing some solid heauxs. I lost the whole rotation in a day and they sun aint even fully down yet...
I dont know if you can tell but Ive been avoiding you. Ive been slowly but surely revealing the true me to this world and as weird as it feels, it feels right. Ill be over some hoes in like 48 hrs but my ability to be me I will and can never lose. I lost em cuz I dont love em. I dont love em cuz they dont do shit for me. Like my life has not really trully actually ever been changed by the small soul capacity of a side hoe. Now mind you, Im high as fuck right now but all i want to say was I wont miss any of them hoes....except for one. N makes me fel in a place I think just created itself to exist just for her. Like I cant explain how she makes me feel but fuck it Im getting derailed right now.
Im trying to leave my shitty hometown. Im trying program or plan a move. I going to new york city. and partially because I want to be closer to this girl.....but mainly because I really really need a fucking change of pace. Like SOMETHING. M soul is dying in this city. Now maybe im being dramtiic but its true. I really feel unfullfilled in this place. I want to really use my new found powers outside of the simpletons in this city. I want to reach deeper I know theres something really great and cool deep inside of me. I just need to study more and find out how to unlock it. My only real worry in life just how to harness it. You can harness anything. If you can wrap your brain around the concept of something then you can mitigate and control it. I CAN DO THIS. i know i can. Im sitting here writing to you now DOUBTING THE FUCK out of myself ....goddamnit the fall
the fall of my faith....
9/10
Lost another one last night and I'm holding onto my sanity by the fingertips...
Thousands of people died tomorrow and all I can think about is the loss of my full and successful rotation.
I wish you felt it like I did. I'm not supposed to care....I never was supposed to care about her but i did....
But fuck it tho, it's just another thing to add to the fuel
I sware I'll never amount to nothing but when I do I hope I look back on this and really truly fully realize how little these thots meant to me. As I become more schizophrenic......thots means that hoe ova there and best believe J and A were thotties from jump street. Fuck sex; a nigga finds something he can give a fuck about
When I fuck a bitch I care, but just not too much. I'll change your flat tire and whatnot but the main chick N will always have my heart
I'm frustrated. I'm hurt. And I feel like shit. But truth is I needed her to gracefully bow out of my life in this timely fashion. If I trusted hoes I wouldn't be able to run and gun this weekend like I plan to do. Fucking shit I need a cigarette
Only thing keeping me sane right now is King Mez....goddammit I wish bitches know how bossy and selfish they can be sometimes...but it's not the pain that's most visible on my face it's the anger. The anger I will use to decapitate anyone who stands in my way and keeps me from my goal. Consider this an ode. I refuse to be kept down by these situations I've ruined and I will make all these bitches realize that they pussy ain't better then me as a person. I am stronger. Not smarter not faster not better, but STRONGER. period.
This is a good position to be in considering the art I do needs focus.
I've never felt so inspired by pain in my life....maybe when I dumped Lani but that was my call and I knew it was a good thing to do. I'm bout to start being proactive about my shit. This reactive life is too low key for me I need to be out there conquering shit, and my time is running out.
I'll pray you future Brandon
I pray that your future holds what your looking for. I pray and ask God that he may teach me the lessons I need to learn to be the man he wants me to be. Whether or not I amount to anything I life I just want to be the man God wills me to be. I pray that I learn these financial lessons a lot faster, I pray that God allows me to be the example to those around me he needs me to be, and I pray that God gives me the the strength to endure what's ahead after this. I feel like I'm going insane slowly but surely but fuck it there's no turning back now....all I can do is go 100
Do or die time....
Now I lay me down to sleep.....
