e!!! Haha, laugh. Out. Loud.

that there was no AC, and it's about 167 degrees in here because of all the people plus probably some heat from the subway. Good thing the ticket was fre

ize as I headed to the line Amtrak for tix how glad I was to get out of the pouring rain. Only then did I notice that the line was about 20 ppl long and

o here I am in this confounded city, sitting in a semi nice station and I turn on my iPod in search of sum free wifi. No such luck. But I started to real

Ok so I got blogger to my cell now; I just saw a lil clickable icon and got curious and so now here I am in the train station testing this thing out.

S

right

YO fuck these stupid bitch yo, im out to DC tom for the weekend to see some fam and live a lil bit and I just got TWO paychecks so fuck this goddamn city and its silfish females monsters we all love to look at-------im gonna jack off and go to sleep


peace

smooth move laxitive---shittin out the old hoes and welcoming the new hoes

http://twitter.com/BKtheFIA1

sucks fuckin humungo balls

So itss 11 am and im gonna be late for work. last night I lost my fuckin cell phone on the island and I saw some kids walking thru were I might have dropped it. when asked about they told me k now but I could smell it on them; that they were lying. COuldnt prove it though, the police werent helpful, they were only island public safety.

IT JUST FUCKIN SUCKS TO LOSE YOUR CELL PHONE SOOOO INCREDIBLY BAD. I know I know people lose phones all the time. but not me, Ive only lost my phone once before this and it actually got stolen in my own house.

LIKE FUUUUUUCKKKKKKKIN SHHHHIIIIT i HAD SOO MUCH STUFF IN THAT FONE, MAD MUSIC NAKED PICS AND VIDS AL MY CONTACTS, THESE FUCKIN SHITHEAD KIDS OF THIS CITY NEED TO BE KEPT IN ISTITUIONS AND HAVE THIER ARMS AND LEGS APMUTATED SO ALL THEY CAN DO IS TALK AND NOT CUASE PROBLEMS FOR THE MORE MATURE BEINGS ON THE PLANET. THE TEENS OF TODAY ARE CASUING MORE TROUBLE THEN GOOD AND IT MAKES ME SICK.

what really sucks is when IIII find anything im always husslin to turn it in. and sicne I wont get payed til the end of next fuckin week, I wont have a phone in this foriegn fuckin place until after then. this fuck blows and sucks and eats my ass all at the same time.

awoken

so this is great, I just woke up with the absolute shitties feeling in the world because of this dream I just had. I just wrote here about 7 and a half hours ago, and right now were in the early hours of the next day but I doubt ill ever get back to sleep because of this:

I dreamt that I was somewhere working, nad in a meeting room watching a slideshow in a half dark room. My cell phone rings and I see that is Lani, and I remember that I didnt talk to her on the phone at all last night. I felt like I should have, so I excused myelf and went outside to pick up the fone. Theres a guy on the line greeting me, and I hear Lani's voice, laughing at first then she says something thats like, "Hi Brandon...." After asking for just lani, She speaks and the other voice is silent and says " hi brandon this is _____" I say hello and she says "Yea I just wanted to introduce you to my friend, and actually we just decided to be something else too" I then remember thinking in my head that " wow, this is wonderful, how can his girl call me like this and with this guy on three way?"

I then pause for a moment and begin to say something along the lines of "how could you do this to me?" But my smarts kick in last minute and I change my sentence to sound like "congratulations of really happy for you and I wish you all the best good luck I know you'll really be happy and I wished himt the best a gain." He didnt say anything in return. I then asked if he minded if I could just speak to Lani alone or if she could call me and I could just speak with her briefly for a moment. He agrees and I hang up the fone. I dont get a call. I look up and thru all the glass doors I can see my meeting is still going on. I got a text from her saying something, along the lines of dont get mad....... i told you





all i kept thinking about was that its aaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllll over.........

funny, I get it now.

">What do I do, what do I say
Gotta get us back to the way
That we used to be back in the day
Who do I call to talk to
Shawty, you ain't gotta be scared of me
All we need is therapy

Like 1, 2, 3, 4 get the hell up out my door
5, 6, 7, 8 I don't need your sex, I'll masturbate
9, 10, 11, 12 you can go to hell all I care, yeah

Can't do it shawty, can't deal with you babe
Can't handle the pressure of you (yeah yeah)
Can't do it shawty, can't deal with you babe
Can't handle the pressure of you (yeah yeah) "
T pain- Kanye West - Therapy










She is incredible. Whats more incredible is the way I can tell the future at a time I wish was like everyone else and watched things go by.


I'm in pain. I've been denying it all day, but im in a tremendous amount of pain. since sitting in this room last night and hearing what I heard, I've felt like my stomach and all my other central organs have been removed from my body and layed out on an ironing board to be steam pressed and hung out to dry. I feel as though I am inside out. I cried, but no tears came out.

This is what comes over me when to person you are with reveals to you that there is someone else in the picture, and you are no longer the star in her sky. The person you were beginning ot feel as though you might love them. One way....or another.


Life was meant to be lived alone.

I got off the bus today and ran home. I dont know what made me do it but it felt good. I wanted to hit something, I wanted to fight someone, I wanted to go one on one with someone in a cage and rip their heart out. So a jog was in order. When I reached my front gate, I felt like crying agian, my face said this, but I looked in the sky and yet again my eyes stayed dry, only moist in the corners.

When I woke up this morning, all I could do was smile and laugh on my way to work with her. I was in a passive aggressive mode and it just sucked so bad all I could do was laugh at the situation ( and my good fortune once again).


Again, now here in my, I put head down and rest my eyes for a moment, and I wanna turn on the waterworks, but the pipes are broken.

Its incredible how when your hurt how you can be motivated to make yourself a better person for the next one who comes along. Im so hurt and angry I just want to do work and never stop. I sat in the living room and did push ups and sit ups until my body gave out.

I cant be a new yorker, I cant mask my feelings with pride and act like Im not feeling much of anything, I must come to terms with it and embrace and use it for good. I must turn this into creative energy.

I'm thinking about going running in the mornings again, to keep me lean. I eat a lot of fast food out here.

All I can look forward to right now is whether or not I get a check this week.
All I want to do is go back home, and make sure my mom is ok and hit the weight set everyday.

Fuck Bitches. Get Money.
That never did me wrong. Try it.




GOOD NIGHT
While I was jogging home I saw this firefly flicker above my head.......I haven't seen one of those in a long tme