TOday issss............
--- Its carlos's bday and I decided to take shrooms with him...dont judge me....
and this is what it feels like right now
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9W9rc-P9UQ
I fought myslef on when to write in this thing agian. I guess i just didnt want to face the music of today...the day... I dont know who could be looking at my thoughts, or who could be trying to see something they shouldnt for whatever reasons (trying to hurt me or use some things against me but its ok.....................................................................fuck you.)
I feel great right now. its fuckin hot as balls in this room in this house in this city. My palms are sweaty as ball right now.
but I still feel great though.
Thank God for drugs.
Its incredible the things Ive done today.
Nothing. Ive done absolutely nothing today.
fuck my phone right now, i need to get these thoughts on paper right now. or on screen. lawl.
fuck that new age short type shortcut bullshit its pissing me off. its been pissing me off for while now.
You know how some have a "good cry"? I need a good fight right about now.
Music is the answer to everything. Literally, everything. I wish I could express my feelings and thoughts and interpretations in another other than words--fuck words, im too good at them.
I want to express myself through sound, I want to be on a complete other level and just blow up, but for the fact that I'm am confined to the normality of this world we call planet earth I am reduced to the majority of the percentage and work the 9-5 I feel i am destined to do anything but.
Incredible, I know. But what can you do when your too scared to take a chance? because your life may depend on it....
but fuck it, I take this meduim as way to expound, if you will, on the depths of my mind and expel what ive been keeping locked up inside out. I feel i must express myself someway somehow. but the problem is i dont think there is any one way or form or anomolie that can take the being that is me. I must face the....."music" if you will...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
this piece of shit computer wont even hold on
Today is the day.........................
i graduated from college.
I need money.
I need a job.
I got a call today, for an interview to work for a web design team or whatever... i don't know the details nor was I smart enough to get them, so all day ive been thinking thinking thinking about what Im gonna do....what am I going to do?
I gotta pack
I gotta call these people
I gotta get rid of my cuse shit
i gotta
i gotta
i gotta
I dont want to leave.
but Ive been floating around here for two weeks aimlessly.....and now that i've found a destination its like i dont want to go there. Talking to my 'girlfriend' right now made me realize something about me.............
and I guess im coming down now..........
but I want to leave an impact on this earth. I want change something or be someone important....
I want to leave a legacy. I have an identity and i want it be known all over the globe forever.
Lets see how serious i am when I wake up tomorrow.............
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