GREAT

I have to blog yet again for another class. I hate blogging. Its so retard and I think its only for emotional people like girls and socially rejected adults.

The first blog I had was fun to write, and I think this one should just be a continuation of that just a little bit more NOT about girls. Even tho its nice and all...Im not so focused on girls as I was before. Hmmmm maybe I should go back and check to see if there were any comments on my last real blog. Just a little FYI: I will be writing this as if no1 is reading, just pour mind vomit of thoughts from my head in hopes of a way to relieve some stress probably.

Some people found my last blog and I dont know, probably becasue I gave away too much info about how to find it, but I can garuntee you that no1 will find this one with the strange URL and the username I have I really hope no1 will find this.

SO as I sit in the lab, in the basement of hinds hall I can only think where I am now and where Ive come from since the last time we spoke, blogger.com. I must also make you aware of the fact that I am bouncing back and forth from this and my IST 459 work because I ahve an assignment due tom and Im just going to get it done. While I am also sitting here I am waiting for a text message reply from a very special someone that has only entered my life very recently, yet I refer to her as such. SHe ios at dance practice right now in Harlem, and I all I can think about is trying to go to NYC for spring break just to be with her. I am struggling with getting too mentally entwined in this girl, seeing as she is such a free spirit, and becasue I just got out of a relationship with L, my last, one and only, high maitenence girlfriend. OH MY GOD please remind to never do that again. What a freakin headache. You know what my problem is, is that I settle. I just settle for whatever ol' halway pretty halfway decnt girl that matches up on a few levels with me, and say fuck it for the rest. And now, just now in writing this I know why: beacsue I dont take nor do I plan to ever take any of these relationships seriously. these NY girls will be the death of me. And I aslo think that TC, the one backl home for me is the one im gonna marry anyweays so why not have a little fun while I'm here. Ill just make a few girls feel special while im here and then jsut move on with things with TC when i leave. Well since then things have changed. I met one other female, J, T that left a long last impression on me and I really honestly do wish I could pursue her after I get out of college. I really could see myself building a future with her. But now, this new girl the duece, has stepped on the scene and is pushing over that portrait my mind has painted. oDeep down I really hope for something long term with her, but the smarter thing to do would be just relax and dont take her seriously at all and talk off and on, but I dont want to listen to what my bros say.

I do have to take it easy i know that, becasue I fall in love too quickly with females but this one matches me on many different levels and I think that calls for some serious quality time together. We did things together that I didnt think I would get to do with her in such a way that may have meant more to me than it did for her. So the biggest thing on my mind is "how should I treast this situation to make it come out the way I want it to?" and No1 has the answer to that.

I am soo verry worried about what I am gonna do after this year it not even funny. I dont even know if I am going to graduate this may or not. I dont know if im gonna walk or whatever and

Im just getting hungry again right now.

But I honestly cvant even tell you how incredibly nervous I am about what to do this summer or this fall. I ahve 3 options, stay here in Cuse and work or itern and take the 6 credits I need to legitamately get a diploma, or just go home to boston and get the six credits and go live in NYC and just get an internship and find a way to take the six credits there. Either way I hneed to find a way to get the rest of those credits so I can do grad school in teh fall up here. and thats if I graduate.

I have to stop texting it driving me nuts

WTF am I gonna do? I honestly have been getting back into the habit of going to church and doing my daily devotions so I can just get back in touch with what God's plan is for my life becasue I know if I do it his way I cant go wrong. I kniow all the right doors will be openned for me and I will feel relaxed about everything. Its funny that despite all that I am going thru, I can just thank God for everything I have no matter what and I will alwasy do that..... becasue it could alwasy be worse.


later my ahnds hurt