still aint fuckin with the police

Shits changed. this was only supposed to get me through college. Getting through real life is far more difficult. I remember sitting in the library writing to this thing, and I thought it was a little stupid, but now I know this was my release. The dumb shit i was associated with, (that I brought on myself) came to light as I wrote about it and became of aware of the bullshit I had got myself into. Part of it was becasue I have more hope for people then intelligence and dont know how to give a straight up, firm, assertive NO.

This have changed.

I just broke shit off with B, some 19 yr rehabbed hoe who was showed some promise. Didnt realize she really wasnt doing much for me, but try to clean all the time and do my laundry but then I realized that got pretty annoying. and she STILL didnt know how to cook. ...getting sick of this shit. ----you know I just got a spot of my own finally, about six months ago and i have been getting MORE than enough experience at my stove cooking food, and I have lot more to learn as well. ----but yea she cleaned a bit and taught me how to early for travel situations (cause she had travel anxiety and had to be at the fuckin greyhoud station 2 hours before catching the fucking fung wah bus to nyc). but other than that it was prolly a bad idea. I messed with her and thought she was just a great person and all the stupid hoes in my city couldnt even compete with a mere 19 yr old from NJ with a fat ass. So i stuck with for a little while. Unfortunately the other one I was messing with couldnt hack the news, and went all stalkerish on me and wrote the girl I actually gave a shit about an email and now I lost her.

Fuck it. and I mean that becasue I actually had a good fear that that relationship was a bit forced (partly becasue of her emotions and sudden attachment to me) and becasue i really thought she would get over her bitchy pride problems. Nonetheless she was a better call than L just for the simple fact that she know how to articulte her appreciation. I think I just got too excited there was a good girl who met my standard as far as looks went and wasnt a utter total complete bitch to me.

well that was nice while it lasted.....she definitely spent a decent amount of energy in telling me what I was good at and got my confidence back to where it shouldve been the whole time.

IN OTHER NEWS....

I work for Apple, Inc in a retail store. Hope that means

a something later, cause right now, all it means is a free buss pass. I dont care who says what about, reatil is fucking RETAIL. but fuck, im working with the lesser of a SHITLOAD of evils, so I better be on time for work tomorrow.

Speaking of....I ahve a second round interview for a company to do some IT shit and reallllly hope I get it becasue this job would allow me to keep apple as a part time gig and Id be apple to quit my night job as a valet. Even though I love it becasue I get to do what I love most, it may have to go for good. IM home now, just finished watching the Pats make it into the superbowl, but I normally wouldve missed this game working out on the corner parking cars and its fucking 25 degrees out.

My grind will never change, my steez however,, is getting more mature. and smarter. Shit used to work the way my father played shit, only cause thats all I knew UNTIL I moved in with these guys, and I learned that honesty was the name of the game. My frat brothers made being a playa the thing to be. and it is, but there is a certain way to go about it. Im 24 yrs old and Im not about to be tamed by any chics, but I need to tell these hoes that theyre not the only one. if they dont like it, peace. if they do, its a buffet table of dick for them and everything is on and poppin